DSD

I've been on almost top of my years of school. My undergraduate thesis has been on progress. Yet, I am feeling happy and mad at the same time. I mean, this year could drive me crazy because I should struglle on my own whether to continue learning, get married, find a job or idk. If I continue learning, then I have to find a scholarship to fund me. Fee for master degree in Indonesia is all Rp. 8 million while it is also a first year of my lil brother for college. This must be hard for my mom as the breadwinner 😢. Second, being married to is a certainty for a women who likes children like me haha. But but, it is not that easy. Am I taking too many consideration? 😳 I already find a man, but we both are freshgraduates so we should find money first. And this leads to the third choice. Find a job. I like children so Im thinking about teaching secondary school, in which pre-service teacher would not get as much salary as others. It's fine I think bcs my future husband will create more money haha. So I will just provide him more honey. You know what I mean huh? 😝 However, let's be realistic that finding a job is not a piece of cake.
Ya Rabb plis helppp.
Nah. The reason why I feel happy to graduate soon is because I think hm I think I don't enjoy being part of my university. It is almost 4 years and I find a few reasons to not hate my univ, friendship like tralalaB class and lecturers like Maam Raras, Maam Rini, and Maam Wiwiet❤ The facility, the building, the buerucracy, the funding, the, the, .... I mean, It is a state university, but knowing the fact that it's difficult to use the rest room due to its watering system, only few classrooms are supported with LCD, not included in any scholarship such as beswan jarum, KSE, etos, padahal univ lain sejenis di kota yg sama aja masuk list mereka. Sekalinya dapat PPA, malah dipotong sekian persen dg alasan buat pembangunan. Hahahaha. Where do our fee during each semester go??????? Astaghfirullah. Semoga ini hanya kesalahan ku mengartikan. Atau mungkin aku yang terlalu banyak membandingkan😢😳😩

Dilema Semester Delapan

Tujuh Mei yang ke Dua puluh

Selamat 20 tahun!!

Teruntuk Nilla,
diriku sendiri.

Selamat ulang tahun yang kedua-puluh.
Selamat! Kamu berhasil bertahan selama 20 tahun menjadi ketidaksempurnaan dirimu. Bertahan dari kejamnya dunia dengan segala hal duka. Bertahan dari kemelut rindu surga duniawi. Kamu melampaui hal2 tak terduga yang mendewasakanmu. Ingat saat usiamu 7 tahun dan kau terpisah dari rombongan keluarga ditaman hiburan? Kamu belajar untuk tak malu bertanya pada orang dewasa. Lalu pada usia 13 tahun ketika tanpa sengaja kamu membuat adik laki2 mu terluka dan menangis, kamu menyesal dan sadar bahwa dia satu2nya saudara sedarah yg harus disayangi. Dan lagi, taukah kamu bahwa 2 tahun lalu, kamu benar2 mengutuk takdir Tuhan krn terdaftar di kampusmu sekarang? Sekarang  lihatlah! Kamu menjadi dua puluh di lingkungan yg benar2 harus disyukuri. Teman2 baru yang hadir seperti hujan di musim dingin. Dosen2 professional  yang kadang tugas2nya mmbuat mu terjaga. Kamu beruntung, sangat!

Alhamdulillah, kamu benar2 sudah 20 tahun:)
Kau tau kan, kau sekarang sudah berkepala dua. Ada dua otak, mungkin begitu analoginya. Gunakan itu untuk mencerna apa yg kau baca, lihat , dengar dan rasa. Satu lagi, jangan terlalu sering menangis sendirian dikamar, keluar dan berceritalah dengan orang yg kau percaya. Pendengar yg baik juga adalah pantas didengar.

Ah sudah dulu ya. Aku harus istirahat. Hehe
Terakhir.
Gapai cita2mu ya. Aku tau kamu pasti bisa. Semangat!
Aku mencintaimu dengan sangat.

Lepen

            Originally, Javanese people do not speak Indonesia in their daily activities. Otherwise, they have their own cultural language, that is, bahasa krama. There are three levels for bahasa krama. They are ngoko, krama alus and krama inggil. The most polite is krama inggil in which used to speak with the elderly. In addition, I experienced an addition moment in terms of using krama language.

            The last holiday, my best friend asked me to accompany her to visit her childhood village. She said that it was a beautiful village. It had a good view of mountain, fresh air, and big river. It has been 13 years since she moved from that village. Even we have got the home address, I totally had no idea where it was. So, I counted on her memories. Then, we went there together by motorcycle.

           Initially, everything ran smoothly. Both of us enjoyed the trip. But when we have arrived around the address, my friend was confused. “Oh my God, everything is changing! The buildings are everywhere. The only thing I can find the same is only the river.” She said. After that, we saw some old trishaw’s drivers in the edge of the road. We tried to ask about the address politely using krama inggil. As the result, he answered the question in the same way of speaking. He said, “Oh, sampean lurus kemawon, alamat niki ten ngajengipun lepen.” Getting the clue, we continued to look for a building whose name was lepen in which we thought it stands for lembaga pendidikan.

            Time passed by, we still could not find any building named lepen. We rode the motorcycle quite slowly, so that it took an hour. We just went around and around. Yet, we got no clue. Then, we realized that we got lost. Both of us were so tired. Moreover, the sun was shining so hot.

            Finally, we decided to go back to the man who gave us direction. We asked him again. At this time, we did ask him clearly. His direction about the address and lepen really made us look so silly. The thing was, lepen had nothing to do with lembaga pendidikan or other buildings. Lepen is the krama inggil of river! And we have passed the river like a hundred. I personally felt so annoyed, embarrassed, yet funny at the same time.

            In conclusion, I realize the importance of knowing my mother language as well. Perhaps, I am too busy learning foreign language, so that I forget to acquire my own culture.

Oh SMA-ku. Oh SNMPTN-ku.. Oh SBMPTN-ku... Oh AKU....

Dua tahun lalu, 2013, hidupku pernah berada di titik nol bahkan minus. Penyebabnya nggak jauh-jauh dari SMA, kelas XII, UNAS, seleksi masuk kuliah dan (ehem) percintaan. Well, untuk yang terakhir aku males bahas sih. Ciyeh-_-

Kelas duabelas adalah masa dimana aku bingung harus fokus kemana. Dengan menikmati masa aktif terakhir sebagai siswi di SMA, aku gak tau harus enjoy dengan my badass bro sis classmates atau kill the national exam atau pass the college test. Ketiganya penting mamen. Keselip dikit aja bisa kepreset jauh. Lalu, aku menemui senior-senior. Karena mereka adalah orang yang lebih dulu tersesat. Pasti udah punya beberapa pengalaman untuk dibagikan. Hasilnya tetep abu-abu. Aku pergi ke bimbel dan konsultasi. Agak mudeng sih, tapi masih belum ketemu benang merah. Oke fine! Aku nikmati saja.

Dan…kegalauan pun berlanjut.

Hari demi hari kulewati dengan berangkat pagi pulang sore. Di sekolah, hiburan yang melegakan adalah guyonan konyol dari temen sekelas, re: MCC+sol, gossipers, dan geng otak pun nimbrung wkwk. Di rumah, satusatunya hiburan yang menenangkan adalah tidur.

Okeh.

Tes pertama pun kulalui dengan……..puyeng. STIS. Langsung tebal di babak penyisihan awal. Aku sih menganggapnya gak jodoh. Selow. Kadar kebahagiaan 80%

Pemilihan jurusan kuliah. SNMPTN. Akhir-akhir ini aku lebih senang menyebutnya perebutan jurusan kuliah. Di tahap ini, kesannya kami, calon mahasiswa, kayak teman makan teman. Ada pengalaman yang  lumayan kriminal disini, ngubek-ngubek rapor di TU, MasyaAlloh ide siapa ini wkwk. Setelah bertindak kepo pada banyak siswa baik satu dan lain sekolah, ku putuskan untuk memilih Kesehatan masyarakat, teknobiomedik(Unair) dan Perencanaan wilayah kota, ilmu gizi (UB). Dan hasilnya…..wait. Kadar kebahagiaan 75%.

UNAS on the go. Di sela-sela mikir hasil SNMPTN, aku juga mati-matian mempersiapkan UNAS dengan duapuluh paketnya, tidak termasuk paket hemat. The thing is technically I was ready but mentally not. It ruined everything I had prepared. Again, ikut bimbel dan private course sama sekali gak menjamin nilaimu. Aku baru sadar di detik-detik menjelang UNAS, bahwa aku juga butuh waktu untuk menyendiri memahami apa maunya soal-soal tersebut. Without using the key, I was happy that I passed. But I think I failed. I was humiliating myself. I wont go into detail.  Kadar kebahagiaan 48,7%

Beberapa hari setelahnya, pengumuman SNMPTN. Alloh sedang menempatkan ku di posisi yang teramat sulit untuk ku pahami. Kubaca pengumuman, sekian detik, otakku masih terus berusaha mencerna kalimat merah dengan tanda seru di akhir. Lalu pandangan ku abu-abu dan pudar. Aku tumbang. Aku kalah. Sepersen, aku merasakan sebersit kebahagiaan karena pingsan ku hanya sementara. Aku masih sangat ingat, bapak dan ibuku terus menuntunku istighfar. Sulit percaya, karena aku tak bisa lolos. Beruntunglah, sekian puluh temanku lolos di jurusan pilihan pertama. Kadar kebahagiaan 1%

Sungguh sulit untuk ikhlas melihat mereka yang lolos. Normalnya remaja, aku jadi sering menyendiri. Bukan dengan soal UNAS lagi, SBMPTN yang notabene lebih serem dari UNAS. Di pilihan jurusan SBM ini, aku masih kekeuh dengan kesehatan masyarakat Unair. Lainnya, orang tua yang milih.

Ongoing SBMPTN. Sepulang tes dari Surabaya. Keluargaku kena musibah. Motor kami ilang. Cobaan yang kesekian. Aku pasrah pada drama Alloh. Selalu ku pegang firmanNya, Al-Insyirah:5-6. Hasil tes pun di umumkan, Pendidikan Bahasa Inggris - Unesa. Sama sekali bukan pilihanku. Damn it!!!! Aku nangis sekenceng-kencengnya. Kadar kebahagiaan 2%

Supaya aku gak kuliah di Unesa (-_-), aku mendaftar di Poltekkes Surabaya. Percaya atau tidak, perjalanan berangkat tes kesehatan, aku dan bapakku kecelakaan. Lutut ku lecet. Jempol kiriku "cuwil" separo. Lengan kanan ku berdarah-darah. Setelah di obati, aku tetap berangkat. Kali ini diantar ibuk dan bapak. Sampai sana. Aku menjadi peserta terakhir. Sialnya, aku pingsan gara-gara jarum sialan yang ngambil darahku. Entah aku pingsan karena darahnya atau jarumnya. Walaupun demikian, aku diterima. Alhamdulillah yah sesuatu. Kadar kebahagiaan 2,1%

Gilanya, aku masih nekat ikut Mandiri Unair. Kesehatan masyarakat lagi. Semacam…dua penolakan itu masih kurang cukup untuk membuktikan kalau aku dan unair itu gak jodoh. Syukurlah, Alloh masih memberi ku kesempatan. Diterima. Akhirnya, tiket masuk Unair ditangan. Sialnya, si tiket ini harganya fantastis. Keadaan ekonomi orang tua ku gak cukup untuk memenuhi jalur itu. Aku melewatkan impian terbesar ku melayang. Kasian deh lu! Kadar kebahagiaan 1,4%

Lalu, aku banting setir ke kedinasan lagi. STAN. My last hope. Karena kedinasan lain mensyaratkan tinggi badan. Tahap pertama lolos. Alhamdulillah. Ketemu kenalan yang sekarang jadi temen. Alhamdulillah. Tapi bapak harus operasi gara-gara kecelakaan yang sama aku kemaren. Kadar kebahagiaan 20%

The last, tes wawancara STAN. Gal. Ga. Gal. Runtuhlah semua harapan. #alay Aku rapopo Ya Alloh. Hasil tes ini di umumkan di sela-sela aku ospek Unesa. Bayangin aja, gimana galaunya gueh. Kadar kebahagiaan 19%

Sekarang…2015 Aku telah belajar banyak hal. Betapa jika aku lebih mampu memahami setiap kejadian, aku akan menjadi lebih baik sekarang. Titik terendahku, aku belajar banyak padamu. Bercermin pada masa lalu yang menyakitkan, kegagalan, dan kehilangan yang mendewasakan. Terimakasih. Alloh begitu baik.

Lesson learned;

1. Tidak boleh memandang sebuah universitas dengan sebelah mata. Aku belajar bagaimana menghargai apapun yang aku dapat.
2. Tidak boleh gelap mata. Tuhan telah begitu banyak memberi petunjuk. Terkadang, aku yang terlalu buta tak melihatnya.
3. Segalanya butuh uang. Tapi uang bukan segalanya.
4. Tidak boleh cepet-cepet pengen mati hanya gara-gara SNMPTN sialan. Dia bukan satu-satunya pintu menuju masa depan.
5. Doa ibu. Ridho orang tua. Kerja keras ku.
6. Alloh menjanjikan banyak hal baik untukku.
7. Di masa masa ini, aku lebih mengenal siapa yang sebenar-benarnya teman dan "teman".Cinta pada lawan jenis di masa remaja memang tiada duanya. Tapi kehancuran karena cinta tersebut akan lebih meniadakan segalanya.
8. The last. Siapa yang tertawa paling akhir, dia yang akan paling berbahagia. Aku merasakan kejaiban!
9. Kadar kebahagiaan 100% :)

Vomit 2014

            For years, motion sickness has been being a nightmare for me. It is a sudden disease which is very annoying. Also, for years, I can avoid feeling it by consuming drug. Though, readers, you can stop here if you cannot stand in reading my pretty disgusting story.

            Well, on my last holiday, my best friend, Sita, suddenly called me at dawn. She asked me to accompany her to Surabaya. I was on the semi-conscious sleeping when I definitely answered yes.

“Neng, we’ll meet up near the terminal in fifteen minutes.”

“Yeah, I get it.” I answered. Then, I hurried to eat my breakfast.

            On the way to the terminal, I realized that Sita and I would go by bus. Also, I had just realized that I forgot to consume my drug. I suddenly stopped my motorcycle and planned to turn back home. I rode as fast as I could, moreover I almost hit group of ducks. But, in three minutes riding, I changed my mind. I realized that I was running out of time. I stopped and continued to the terminal with anxious feeling that I would get motion sickness. Furthermore, I felt afraid to tell this to Sita because I did not want to ruin our day.

            After waiting for about 20 minutes, we got a bus. Unfortunately, we were in the different seat. Everything seemed to run smoothly. Thankfully, I could sleep in my uncomfortable seat for about 2 hours. I suddenly woke up because I felt dizzy and queasy. My body was getting cold and sweats at the same time. I was trying so hard to resist from that feeling because it only took a few minutes to get off from the bus. I felt like I would like to faint rather than felt it. But, the very bad thing happened. I could not stand in that painful condition. I hurried get a plastic bag and tissue. And, I vomited all over in it. “Oh crap!” said a man sitting next to me loudly.  My pain was gone away but my embarrassment came up. Everyone was watching me freakily. Even, some of them whispered while staring at me. It felt like, “Oh my God!”

Five minutes later, as soon as the bus stopped, I run to the door and got off. Sita got after me and asked panicky. “Are you alright?” I said. “I feel free now. Don’t worry. Let’s go!” Indeed, that was the longest five minutes ever.

Establishing Hotspot

 FYI, tadi iseng buka file jaman SMA dan nemu essay ini. Isinya...entahlah. Grammarnya...ah sudahlah... huehehe

Nowadays, many people recognize technology, start from student in the elementary school until university. Technology like internet is the important one. Internet is an unqualified world, and then, there are many ways to access it, for example from hotspot, modem, credit etc. But student would rather hotspot than modem, because hotspot is free using. Now, in the benefit school, the headmaster establishes hotspot at least one. The purpose is to support lesson in the class.

Even though the headmaster has the good purpose, but some student can’t use the hotspot well. Why ?

Firstly, it can make the student get addiction. If they find an interesting web address, like online game even blue film. They will open this web address many times, in everywhere.

Second, it can make the student forget about their main duty. Yeah, it is study. Although this is not happened to all student, one student can influence the other student. And then, If they are searching lesson from the internet while accessing social media such as facebook, twitter, or yahoo messanger, all of this just spent their time. Time to search lesson will be diminished, but time to access social media will be undiminished.

Third, if we look from healthy point of view. Sitting down in front of laptop or computer in long time, not only will get addiction, but also will make their eyes tired. And it is bad for their healthy. After that, the radiation from laptop that they use is not good for their brain and the other main organ in their body.

Forth, accessing a naughty web address can break the morality of the student. They can simulate or follow what they see in the internet. For example, accessing fighting video then they will practice it with their friend. And this is the bad one.

All of our thesis above, show that there are some bad effect of establishing hotspot in the educational institute like school. The head school should control and handle the use of hotspot. For example with make login ID for hotspot, so if there is an ID that open a naughty web address, the admin of hotspot will understand who are they. After that, the admin can give scolding to them.

The other way, the head school can make a rule. For example switching off the hotspot when the lesson in progress. So the teacher and the student can be focus in the class.